It’s Pregnancy not Leprosy – An Open Letter to Non-Preggos

Let me preface this with a little bit of background info and by saying that I wrote this for my old blog while I was pregnant, however, the feelings still apply. My husband and I were the first of our friends engaged, first married in Vancouver, the first pregnant. On the east coast we have many friends with kids, but while being across the country they are not in our lives day to day. In my workplace we had people with kids, many of whom work from home so I did not see them, others have been on maternity leave since I had found out I was expecting. Pretty well everyone else was in their mid-twenties with no kids and no plans for them in the upcoming future. When I was pregnant I noticed many people either no longer inviting me to various events, either through work outings, or even friends just dropping off the map. I’m sure I wasn’t the first girl to go through this and certainly won’t be the last, to those of you going through this or who have gone through this, I feel for you and you are not alone.

Being pregnant is a blessing and such a joy, we should feel so lucky! Or so we’re told… But what happens when you’re the only pregnant one in the workplace, your group of friends or for what may feel like to you as the whole world?

Now don’t get me wrong, I missed my wine as much as the next preggo but being the butt of jokes like “oh you can’t drink, sorry” or “haha your pregnant you can’t have any” get old, fast. I know I can’t drink, that’s fine. I’m busy producing a precious little life in my tummy. However, that doesn’t mean that you can frown or feel bad for us. Also, going to a pub does not mean we need to drink. They do have food you know. I don’t have leprosy, I’m just with child, I can still go out, I just may head home a little earlier because I’m tired and once everyone else starts getting sloshed it gets a bit difficult to hold conversations. So sue me.

I’m sure many others out there have experienced this with their friends, coworkers and otherwise. Just remember ladies it’s only 9 or fewer months (or more if you’re breastfeeding) and look at the bright side, we’re no longer drinking all of those calories! So there’s a plus! By the way, I believe that is one of the factors that contributed to my weight loss in my first and second trimester, I didn’t start to gain until part way through my second trimester when I finally had my appetite back.

To those who ask me to open their wine bottles then apologize, stop. It’s not the end of the world. You don’t need to break out the kid gloves but at least give us a little bit of thought. Instead of having us subject to water only, ask what we drink now instead. Some personal favourites that my husband makes for me are Shirley temple’s, “mom”mosas, flavoured sparkling water and so much more. There are even non-alcoholic wines that honestly taste fabulous and they’re not that hard to find, they even have non-alcoholic sparkling wine. Also, on the subject of non-alcoholic wines, even post pregnancy, I can honestly say I’d still drink them as an alternative when I am the designated driver but still wanted the taste of vino at a party or gathering.

To my fellow preggos remember, we’re in this together. Smile, if you feel bold enough remind the boozy bitches that this isn’t the end of your life, and don’t let it get you down. Yes, it sucks being discluded from people’s plans but remember they don’t understand and hopefully some day when they’re going through what you are now, the people surrounding them are a bit more considerate. You are creating new a life and what you’re doing is amazing!

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