Do you ever think about how you would describe a baby to an alien? Weird question I know. But the Whovian in me brings my brain to weird places. If you don’t know what a Whovian is, it’s a Doctor Who fan, and I am that, loud and proud.
In the spirit of the Thirteenth Doctor being announced (congrats Jodie Whittaker!), I thought I’d talk about our own little creature. Mr. P.
Before I got pregnant I legitimately was a bit creeped out by pregnancy. Some new being taking over your body. Growing off of the nutrients you take in. It’s all pretty crazy if you think about it.
What do aliens and babies have in common? Read on my friend, read on…
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Let’s compare, shall we?
How they look at birth.
Let’s honest. Babies look like aliens from the moment we see their ultrasound to a bit after they are born. They’re mushy, they have stuff all over them. How they come into the world is mind blowing. They use our bodies to incubate and grow for the better part of a year before we finally get to see what we’ve created. Need I say more?
They grow at an astonishing rate.
One minute they’re in the tiniest clothes you’ve ever seen, the next, they’re hulking through them and growing at an alarming pace. They sprout teeth from nowhere, their limbs grow at different times than the size of their heads. Everything is always out of proportion. It’s super weird.
We teach them to speak.
Okay, so language takes a hell of a long time for a human to develop. For the first year, you have nearly no way to communicate, it’s like a damn guessing game. Even once they have a few words, they don’t really get any real points across. Basically, it’s like you’re having to live with someone from another country or planet no less, and just coexisting, while catering to their needs.
They don’t eat normal food.
Well, if you’re doing baby led weaning they kind of do. But we didn’t, which you can read more about here. Baby food is mushy, it’s strange coloured and looks like something straight out of Star Trek. Somehow, these little creatures lap it up and love it.
Habits don’t come naturally.
Think about it, we have to make sure they don’t shove fingers in sockets, not to jump off of tables, not to hit people just for the sake of attention. And most of all, not to rub their poop on things. We have to teach them to human. They run into walls, they up climb everything. They put things in their mouth that are clearly not edible, it’s absolutely nutballs when you think about it. Remember that movie with Paulie Shore and that other guy where the caveman comes back to life? That’s what it’s like to have a toddler.
All in all, I think we can agree that the little creatures we’re bringing into this world are nothing short of incredible. When you really sit down and think of how they develop, grow, learn and change it’s a complete transformation from two cells to a human. They sure do come a long way!
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Make sure to comment below if you can add anything to these findings as well!