Pregnancy, it’s a beautiful thing. Well from the outside looking in that is! Granted, I honestly loved being pregnant. Some ladies, not so much. The only parts I didn’t care for was the first trimester nausea, sciatica and then the uncomfortableness of the final weeks when I was ready to pop.
But you know what? The nausea went away, as did the sciatica (once I got my Snoogle). Oh and the uncomfortableness, well that escalated into labor, and now I have my little guy.
The things that made me feel awesome about being knocked up far outweighed the things that didn’t. It was so fun watching my body change. In the beginning, sure, I felt like I looked bloated more than preggo, but hey, that’s normal.
What did I love about being pregnant? For starters, my skin. Normally I have fairly acne-prone skin, prone to breakouts all of the time. I did not have one breakout when I was pregnant. My skin was the best it had been since pre-puberty. No joke. Again, not the same for everyone. But I think I earned my time to finally have good skin. Now however, back to the same crap, wah wahhh.
Aside from an amazing complexion, the obvious, feeling our little man moving around. There’s no way to describe it. When he was born, not having that feeling anymore was almost like a grieving process. I really missed and still, miss it.
When it comes to outsiders and your ever-growing belly, there are things you want to hear and things you don’t want to hear. You’ll get comments from coworkers, friends, family and even strangers at the grocery store. All. The. Time.
So here’s my little tid bit to anyone who will read it. Just a few things to not say to a pregnant woman.
What not to say…
Are you sure you’re not having twins? While I didn’t personally get this question, I know people who have. Yes we know it looks like we have a baby sized double wide going on under this tent like shirt, no it’s not as funny when someone else points it out.
Oh my god you’re huge! Thanks. Really. Thanks. Something I heard a lot. I mean I get it, yes, I was growing at an alarming rate at the end. Trust me I was scared our baby was going to rip out of my stomach at any point like something from the Men In Black movies. There’s just something horrible about hearing those exact words though. It’s like oh thanks, I know I’m massive, but thanks for making me feel even more so.
Geez have you had the baby yet? Obviously I have not. Do you see me carrying him, don’t you think you’d know if I did. Hello, we’re in the day and age of Facebook people. Probably the stupidest joke someone can say. Especially if your due date has passed.
Do you miss drinking? Think about the bigger picture here. It’s 9 (or more months if you’re breastfeeding). And it’s only booze. Yes I know, the title of my blog, blah blah blah. But really, it’s a short amount of time. Not a big deal. When I got pregnant, the last thing that would ever be a thought was drinking. Obviously. As it should. I’m carrying a human who needs to develop. Mocktails are good too people. Plus, from not drinking, I dropped 10lbs in my first trimester. How bout them apples?
Were you trying to get pregnant? This is never anyone’s business other than your healthcare professional and your partner. Why do people think it’s okay to ask this? What if behind closed doors you had multiple miscarriages, or were having fertility issues. It’s no one’s business but your own! We luckily did not have those issues, and yes we were trying but it’s not cool to ask. So just don’t.
Do/Don’t find out the gender! Okay. This has to be the icing on the cake. Don’t interject your opinions about this on to other people. Some people want to know, some people don’t. Sometimes the mom and dad-to-be are divided in their feelings towards it. I personally needed to know, I’m a planner, but I shouldn’t have to justify it. It’s my baby, not yours. When you’re having one, you do what you want. Kapiche?
Are you scared for labor? Does a bear shit in the woods? Uh yeah, I’m going to be pushing a watermelon out of a pinhole. What the hell do you think?! What’s the point of making the poor woman more anxious about the whole situation? Just don’t ask, it’s a stupid question.
Are you tired? Obviously. My body is making a human and doing all sorts of crazy things. I have extra blood pumping through my body, I’m peeing nonstop. As soon as I get in a comfortable sleeping position with my Snoogle, little man decides it’s karate time. So yes, I am tired, and if it weren’t for the 20 layers of concealer you’d see just how tired I am. Oh and another comment to go with that one, “you think you’re tired now, just wait until…”. Yeah, going to stop you right there because pregnancy tiredness is way different than any other tired. Different than mom tired which you can drink a ton of coffee to help with, different than work tired. It’s just different, and justified, so back off sister while I sit here and daydream about my next nap.
Enjoy your freedom while you still can! Freedom went out the window when my egg and his sperm met. Some women are waiting so long to get pregnant, some it may be a surprise. We were planning, so I was excited and I was ready for a new chapter in our lives together. We’re not the 19/22 year old bar stars we used to be, but really, those days have been long since gone. Freedom is what you make out of anything in life. It’s such a negative thing to say about something that is going to bring so much love to your life.
Sleep now because you won’t once the baby comes! Sorry to inform you but whilst pregnant, in the third trimester especially, there is no sleep happening. And if you’re me, and have insomnia, it wasn’t happening to begin with, so don’t be a cow.
Okay, I’ll just stop right there before I get too worked up. I could just keep going, trust me. But I will save more for another time!