Hey, mama’s, especially mama bloggers. This one’s for you!
Sure, Wine and Mommy Time is but a mere babe in the blogging world. A small drop in the pot, but you know what, it’s a huge part of my world. With that said, there’s a certain thing that’s been on my mind. The life of a blogging mama is different from normal mom’s. If you’re a blogger, scratch that, a mommy blogger, hopefully, this strikes a cord.
In a world of blogs, Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter and who the hell knows what else at this point, we’ve made a standard. Albeit, an unachievable standard. But we’ve kind of done it to ourselves. I often battle with the thought of, are the standards I hold myself to, or is it because of what I view on the interwebs. To be honest, it’s hard to tell sometimes.
As a mom, I’m constantly comparing myself to other mom’s, my kid to other kid’s, and so on. Yep, I know, I shouldn’t. But you know what, tough shit because I do. Even if you don’t want to admit it, you do it too so don’t poo on me for admitting it. Mainly because I’m sure I’ll be changing a shitty ass at some point today and that’s more than enough poo for any one person to have to endure in one 24 hour period. That isn’t their’s might I add.
So, in the spirit of judging myself based on other’s on social media, I wanted to give some life to the weird world of being a mommy blogger. Feel free to chime in below if you agree, or even if you don’t!
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Must get the best photo opp.
Probably numero uno on the list for a reason. If we didn’t take a picture and post it to social media, did it ever really happen? Better yet, were we having way more fun than humanly possible, in a perfectly planned frame with the best outfit? Okay, so maybe that was a bit far because frankly, I’m far from a fashionista. But shit is real. That is legit what goes through the head of a millennial mommy blogger. The angle must be just so, we need to be at least looking like we’re having an amazing time, even though we’ve just argued with our hubby about getting too many chins in one photo, but that’s life right? Maybe not for un-bloggy mommy’s but, for those of us on the other side of the keyboard, every time we leave the house is an opportunity to have something to write about, so we must take enough pictures so that at least one makes the cut. Hopefully
No one understands.
So, let me get this right. You spend your spare time on your laptop, phone or tablet, brainstorming things to write about. Like an essay. Which you bitched about back in school. Yep! I do, but you know what, it’s on my terms, and frankly it’s fucking fantastic. While I am well past caring about being perfect with my grammar, or much less my topic choice. I’m damn proud of this blog and I’m loving it. I know I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but I sure hope I’m someone’s glass of wine! After all, that’s my audience. Wine drinking, social media posting, unicorn moms.
A mother who's not perfect enjoys alcohol, has a sense of humor and couldn't care less what you think.Click To Tweet
People assume you think you’re amazing.
Actually, I’m not. I know I’m not. I’m not that egotistical. People automatically think that as a blogger you think your word is the only valid one out there. While I personally think I couldn’t be any further from that, I know some mommy bloggers really do know their shit. I’m speaking to you CloudMom, someone who I got a ton of great advice from before becoming a mom. Wine and Mommy Time isn’t about being an expert like the multiple-child moms of the interwebs. Wine and Mommy Time is about fucking up, learning from it, or just sharing thing’s I’ve come across along the way. That’s it. I’m not an expert mom, I’m a realist mom.
Why can’t I have as many fans as that mom?
It always feels like a competition, within yourself. You see your number of followers and then you see that other bloggy mama. She’s blonde, she’s beautiful, her daughter is always so well styled or they have an incredible home. Whatever! Sure, we’re always going to compare ourselves to other bloggers. Maybe they make a full-time income with their blog. Get tons of sponsored posts, you name it. But the only thing that makes any of us better is longevity. Show up, keep writing, keep believing. That’s where I am at right now.
Taking the dive is scary.
Before I purchased my domain name and made this thing legit, it was scary AF. No joke. But the more I write, the more I am honest with ya’ll the easier it is. I’m sure many other mommy bloggers can relate. Especially when you get your first bit of backlash. Let me tell you. I had a legit moment where I deleted a post. But you know what, the faceless, cowardly people who do that, don’t let them dull your sparkle. You’re allowed to have an opinion. When I wrote my post about being pregnant, and how people around me were treating me, I got an eyeful. I deleted the post and quickly regretted it. Why? Because it showed me that yes, someone was reading. So I reposted, and haven’t looked back. It was at that point I decided that I will never apologize, and you shouldn’t either. You can read that post here.
I’m so lost.
What is my brand anymore? Sometimes we have to rebrand, sometimes we lose ourselves. Maybe life has dealt some lemons and things aren’t going so great. I see my blog as an ever changing beast. Going through some growing pains, and sometimes questioning its identity. Basically, Wine and Mommy Time is pre-pubescent, that’s probably the best way to put it. I’ve seen so many brands change over the years, long before I made my debut and frankly I think it’s really cool. It’s like when you change your makeup style, or hair even. Sometimes things just need a change. And that’s okay.
Coffee shops have never looked better.
Sure, I’m not a university student. But I’ll be damned if they take that perfect table at my writing station of choice. And by writing station, I mean the table by a wall outlet, with the right amount of room for my coffee, food, laptop, notebooks and whatever else I needed. Also, it needs to be as far away from other humans as possible because frankly once I’m out of the house I don’t need to hear about your oh so traumatizing night at the bar when your tampon fell out of your purse in front of that guy. Oh, em, gee. Your life must be ending. Let me tell you about how my child keeps turning off the TV while I’m watching Friends reruns. So yes, plopping down in a coffee shop for hours, that’s my safe place. While my husband loves to run, I love alone time with a latte and my laptop. Man have times changed or what.
You want to talk about it all the time.
Your husband won’t really understand, but he’s there, so you’ll talk his ear off, and anyone else’s you can because this thing is so big in your world to you that you just need to go on and on. It’s like a new baby really, or when you’re planning your wedding. You will annoy the shit out of your non-blogger friends because frankly, they don’t get it. It’s not their thing and that’s okay. Just go find you a Facebook group of other bloggy mama’s and keep the sanity of those around you, and your own. To you, it’s like the biggest deal in the world, but others won’t get it. That’s fine. Disappointing but fine. Non-bloggers will never know the amount of time, energy, tears and work you put in. That’s just the realness of it. It’s like keeping an extremely clean home all the time while having kids. People see the outcome but not what it took to get there.
In normal mom time, time flies. In blogger mom time, there is never enough! I’m talking about content. You get all of these lofty plans to do say, a Christmas series. Or Blogmas in October. Then you get all bent out of shape about not getting it done. Or if you’re like me, have about 10 different projects going on at once and then you notice, oh shit, I haven’t written a post in like two months. How the hell did that happen? We can’t win em all ladies. We sure can try, but that’s about it if you’re momming, working, wifing and blogging.
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An audience is super important.
When you start a blog you assume everyone you know will read yours. Not the case. Maybe a handful, if you’re lucky. And that hurts. Hell, my husband doesn’t even read my blog. But that’s okay, I’ve come to terms with that. He’s a beer drinking, sports watching, marathon running dude. My audience is a bunch of wine sipping, reality tv watching, Netflix marathoning chicks. It’s fine. Granted, it’s hard not to see your posts being flooded with tons of comments like you see on other blogs. But that just brings be back to comparing, it’ll happen, in due time.
Going viral is a pretty helpful thing.
If you don’t think this about your blog your lying. Why? Because viral posts get you views and subscribers. At the end of the day, you want to be read, and going viral helps. It’s fucking hard to do, frankly, the posts I’ve done that have are ones that don’t even touch on me as a mom. But sometimes, you just have to bite the bullet and let the interwebs do its thing. This post is my most read one of all time, check it out!
Finding time is brutal.
Aside from time flying by way too fast, trying to make time is so hard. I’m talking keeping up with pop culture as a mom hard. Between working, wifing, momming and trying to find time to just take a damn shower. Sometimes it’ll be a long while before you get some time to write again. My biggest issue is just that. My intention is to make a weekly schedule to make it a bit easier. For instance, this day is laundry, this day is writing, this day is formatting, this day is cleaning, and so on. Any bloggy mama’s that want to share their schedule please email me!
So, so, so many notebooks.
Your brain is always swimming with ideas that can make up umpteen posts. With that said comes notebooks, apps on your phone, computer, tablet and otherwise. Hell, for awhile I even blogged from my tablet, which you can read about here. I currently have two normal notebooks, my bullet journal, and a couple of different notepads on my phone. This doesn’t include having Evernote, Dropbox, Google Docs, other apps between all of my devices, and sticky notes. It’s nice to have all of those formats for depending on what’s closest. However, sometimes it’s like good lord woman, simplify. Maybe that will be a goal for next year…
All in all, I’m well that everything there sounded like a bunch of bitching. Maybe some of it was! Hell, for sure some of it was. At the end of the day, I’m proud of where I am now. Would I love for this to be my full-time job? Absolutely. Hopefully some day it will get to that point. For now, though, I’ll sip my wine, keep it casual and do the best I can right now.
If this sounds like you or any of your other bloggy friends please feel free to share!
Also, let me know below how you manage to swing it all and keep your sanity, I’m dying to know!